Trust

At times, we encounter people in our lives that are surrounded by a blockade of defenses. Their walls have been carefully crafted with fear and disappointment. They're slow to vulnerability, and quick to write off their feelings. At times, it's like pulling teeth to find out who they really are. And maybe this person was you, I know it was me.

My series of defenses rested upon my independence. I didn't need to rely on others, and I was capable of building my life on my own. Since I was young, I developed consistent ways of "figuring it out" as time went on. There is some sense of control and confidence in knowing that your security depended entirely on yourself. But then I met the Lord.

I began attempting to seek a life of dependence and trust. I was unsure of what that looked like or felt like. People asked me hard questions, and I began processing through them. For some of the first times in my life, I considered painful memories that shaped who I was and tried to let go of my needs to suppress them. The more I discovered the Lord, the more I wanted to look like Him. But I didn't realize until this period of time, how much of my heart held tightly to its independent, self-reliant nature.

I became fed up with my inability to trust God with all areas of my life. Frustration built up the more I saw what I needed to let go of, and the more I saw the fears that kept me from doing so. I think a lot of life can feel like this with the Lord. In a world of immediate satisfaction, the idea of a process seems foreign and pointless. Hence the reason fad diets are so popular. Immediate results satisfy us more than the process of developing a sustaining healthy lifestyle.

So what does this mean for our relationship with Christ?

I think something that I am in the process of learning to my core is this term, "eternal perspective". My recognition of it doesn't necessarily mean that I am able to consistently have that perspective. It is more so contingent upon God's eternal perspective, rather than my own abilities. Essentially, this is the idea that God's playing field is completely different than ours. He sees eternity with us, and cares about his children's forever. When the father is growing you and refining you, his goal isn't to see how quickly you grow. But more so, building a sustainable growth that protects his eternity with you.

For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:10

To present a visual:

There is a deer wandering in a field, hungry and alone. A hand is extended and is in his line of sight now. In fear, he runs off to a comfortable distance and begins observing this hand. It didn't look like him and wasn't something he was entirely familiar with. Would it hurt him? Would it mistreat him? The more the deer observed the hand, he saw it was holding a carrot.

He was hungry.

This hand had something he needed and wanted; but even though he knew this now, he was hesitant. By this point, the hand had not moved at all. The deer would take a couple steps toward the hand, examining it and observing his surroundings. He began this slow shuffle-step, yet with each one it built his trust.

The hand had never moved. It allowed the deer to take this time to become comfortable. The hand had all day because the root of it's patience was love.

As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

Psalm 42:1-2

We are the deer. Slow to trust, and quick to run. God, the hand, is compassionate and patient. As we begin to follow him, He knows that the majority of our life was spent without him. That reframing everything we've built without him takes time. The carrot is our eternity, our salvation with Christ, the gospel.

Living out this gospel and truth takes time. Following the Lord is a shuffle-step and a process. The more we become familiar with Jesus and His character, the more beautiful those steps become. Trust and familiarity is built on the assurance that who you're trusting has your best interest at heart.

So today, slow down and know that the Lord is proud of those little baby steps. Heck!

I mean, you're His kid.

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